High school: An emotional rollercoaster
Crushes, life plans, and conflicts

By Natalia Allensworth
November 20, 2023

This edition of Irish Insight will cover how to deal with crushes, undecided life plans, and teacher/student conflicts. 

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Q: How can I get over a crush if my crush is already dating someone else? 💀💀 - The new kid

A: Dear new kid,

The American author Bell Hooks once wrote in one of her many books on love and feminism, "One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others”. 

Give yourself the love and attention you want to receive from your crush. Make this time of being single a time of personal growth.

Choose someone who sees how amazing you are. Similarly, remember that everything happens in its own time and for a reason. There is a whole world of people just waiting to meet you!

I have been in your situation, and most people have, but the important thing is that your crush not choosing you has nothing to do with who you are as a person but who they are.

Choose someone who chooses you, and never settle for anything less. In the meantime, love yourself. You deserve it.

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Q: Hello! I have no clue what I want to do after high school. Everyone keeps asking me what I want to do or where I'm going to university and I don’t know what to tell them. I don’t want to stay in Ohio, but I also don’t want to be too far away from home. So I guess what I’m asking is: how do I deal with the pressure of not knowing what I’m going to do after I graduate, and how do I find out? - Undecided Life

A: Dear Undecided Life,

Your opinion is valid. Many students struggle with it. But it is not only students who struggle with this. Humans learning their purpose in life is often a lifelong quest.

It may seem daunting to have decades ahead and not know the path, but that is the beauty of it. Your life is beautiful because it is still undecided.

You do not have to decide what you want to be today, tomorrow, or in the next twenty years.

Do not be afraid to tell people you are undecided. Invite people to talk about their passions and recommend things you may enjoy.

It may be in your best interest to sit quietly with yourself and think about what you want your life to be like. Any decisions you make now are not permanent, but you may feel better if you have an outline.

Lastly, live in the present moment. Enjoy your life, follow your passions, and know everything will work out with time.

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Q: How can you navigate tricky conflicts with teachers and students? - Sticky Situation

A: Dear Sticky Situation,

Life can be difficult. As a result, tensions may run high. Disagreements and arguments may occur, but remember that we are all humans.

One of my favorite quotes about such tricky conflicts is by the Irish writer John Connolly. He stated, “There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness".

Weigh the pros and cons of arguing. Are there any benefits? Will it make you feel good? Will it make the other person feel good?

Also, ask yourself if they are attacking you or trying to help. If it is helpful, use this moment to listen to constructive criticism. Conflicts are how we learn and grow.

In difficult times, show patience and grace to others. This courtesy will enable them to do the same. Eventually, hopefully, it will solve itself with the power of mutual respect, kindness, and understanding.